God at Work

The first time I have ever experienced God was when I just entered community college. My friends from high school invited me to their churches to hang out with them.

At that moment of my life, I did not feel the need of God and I considered myself a pure atheist. This belief is old in my family, and all I know is that it was passed down from one generation to the next. Almost half of my family members are in a scientific field and the other half believe in Confucianism. Therefore, I had never been exposed to it in my life and I stood against it simply because it was foreign and against Chinese tradition.

However, God had a plan for me regardless of what I believed at that time. The year I first went to church was a particularly hard year for me due to several incidents. First, I entered community college without many choices since my English was below high school level. As an Asian who grew up in a highly achieving family, I was a shame to my family. Second, I was all alone in the United States without family support. As a newcomer from Taiwan with U.S. citizenship, I was neither identified with Asian Americans nor the international student group. Last of all, my grandfather passed away in Taiwan that year. When I heard my grandfather was gone, I was deeply struck because he was the only inspiration to keep me going alone in the United States. During this dark moment, my friends from church offered me hospitality and friendship even though I rejected their belief.

Then I started to rethink the reasons why I denounced God’s existence after I transferred from community college to UCSD. Also, things started going my way, so I had more time to question if life means more than money, power, and reputation, which were highly praised by my family.

Just when I was searching for the meaning of life, I met two volunteers from UCSD InterVarsity accidentally. The story started when my suitemate and I went for a free food event on campus one day. When we arrived, the line was so long that we could not even see where it started. My suitemate gave up waiting after a while, leaving me struggling in the line because I could not resist the attraction of a free burger.

However, the temperature began to be very hot as it was getting closer to lunch time. At that moment, I was at war with myself since I wanted to leave but I could not leave without filling my empty stomach; then, two nice volunteers from InterVarsity came to me. I did not know what program this event was promoting until they started sharing about Jesus. Then, the next thing I knew was I got my burger and was invited to the sermon with more free food.

While I was struggling over if I should attend it or not, something pushed me to at least try it since I had been exposed to Christianity for some time.

Even though I did not think it would change my life and I was considering showing up just once, it turned out the opposite. The pastor of that night helped me to reflect what had happened in my life and the changes of my personality and characteristics after I started going to church. Then, I realized God loved me and cared about me although I did not believe in Him. The most amazing thing of all is that Christ died for my sins, thus I could be reborn and share His joy and glory. That night, God melted my heart and tore down the blockade within me. Then, I knew I found the definition of my life.

Jesse Hsu

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